Best dollar I ever spent

While shopping for gag gifts at the dollar store for our confirmation party tonight, I came across a wonderful little device: an apple corer/slicer. I'd been told about these before, so I quickly snatched it up. I tried it out with lunch today... what a cool thing! One apple, sliced and ready to be eaten, in less than a second! With two apple trees in my back yard and a cupboard loaded with junk food that shouldn't be there, I think that this little doodad will rank right up there with the best dollars I ever spent.

If you're not lucky enough to have a real dollar store nearby (the kind that actually sells every item for a dollar, not the kind that sells items for round numbers, i.e., $3, $7, etc.), then you can nab a similar corer/slicer at Amazon.com for seven bucks.

Just don't tell your doctor... his business, so the saying goes, depends on your not purchasing this item. ;)

My, how they grow!

The latest puppy pictures...




This is Jada, the mother:

William Safire: Don't Stop Dean

Conservative columnist William Safire speculates what might happen if Dean were not to get the Democratic endorsement. (Op-Ed Columnist: Don’t Stop Dean) He concludes that there's a real chance Dean would refuse to bow to the victor, and proceed to mount his own independent run at the White house. Since there's no guarantee a Democratic Party united around one candidate will be able to remove Bush from office, it seems an almost sure thing that if the party were split this way, Bush would have a cake walk in '04.

Here's where Safire's argument gets interesting:

"Here's my problem," he says. "Such a lopsided, hubris-inducing result would be bad for Bush, bad for the G.O.P., bad for the country. Landslides lead to tyrannous majorities and big trouble."

Interesting that even a columnist who supports the incumbent doesn't want to see Bush win easily, for fear of what he might become. If Bush treated his narrow and questionable victory in '00 as if it were a mandate, imagine how he'd treat an honest thumping of his electoral rivals.

"Tyrannous majorities." "Big trouble." Conservative columnist. Provocative stuff.

More puppy time

Cindy and her family were good enough to entertain me for three whole hours tonight while I played with, observed and snuggled with her puppies. =) Here's a "group portrait"... the little one, whom I'm planning on taking home, is on the right. They both wanted to curl up and take a nap, and we thought it was a cute picture... of the dogs, that is!

The Lord of the Ring - Congrats, Shawn and Shawnee!

Yes, Jeff - the big secret can be revealed: Shawn and Shawnee are engaged. Shawnee got an early Christmas present... a puppy with a very expensive "tag" on her collar. =)

This has been in the hopper for some time, and I've known the date for months. But until there was a ring involved and everything was official, Shawn asked me to keep my mouth shut.

So now I'm jealous. I'm pretty sure my new puppy won't come with a fiance attached! ;)

Anyhow, my heartiest congratulations to Shawn and Shawnee. I'm delighted for you both!

Nikki memorialized

I sent a note to the Humane Society HappyPaws Farm, where I adopted Nikki, to let them know about the last month's events and how much I'd enjoyed Nikki's company in the three years since I took her home. Linda Hunter, who manages the shelter, wrote a nice note back (she remembered me) and passed on a the picture and note I sent to their webmaster. A snippet of it was added to their memorials page this week.

Quote from Paul Krugman

Krugman in the NY Times: "We should be deeply disturbed by the history of this war. For its message seems to be that as long as you wave the flag convincingly enough, it doesn't matter whether you tell the truth.

"By now, we've become accustomed to the fact that the absence of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction - the principal public rationale for the war - hasn't become a big political liability for the administration. That's bad enough. Even more startling is the news from one of this week's polls: despite the complete absence of evidence, 53 percent of Americans believe that Saddam had something to do with 9/11, up from 43 percent before his capture. The administration's long campaign of guilt by innuendo, it seems, is still working."

A funny thought

It just occurred to me while I was looking at my puppy pictures: once upon a time, Nikki was a puppy like these pups, too. It was one of those thoughts that made me smile and also feel just a bit sad, all at the same time. I wish I'd known her then... we always used to wonder what she was like as a puppy and a young dog.

I think it's going to be a real treat to know a dog from almost the first days of her life. No wondering "What was she like?" =)

But I think I know the answer to the question, "What was Nikki like at four weeks?" Obviously - extremely cute and very sleepy!

Puppy pictures

It's a pretty sure thing... I think I'll be taking home the little one from Cindy's litter. Here are some pictures from tonight. (The pups aren't quite four weeks old yet.) =)

Special for Dad

After three years, I finally managed to put these pictures together into a movie. I thought maybe this short little clip would bring back some good memories for Dad. And for anyone who never knew Nikki, it ought to give an idea of what an athletic dog she was for a senior citizen. =)

What a week

When it rains it pours.

Saturday was rough. Obviously, that was the day we put Nikki down. Making the phone calls to the vet and the gal who is doing the cremation was just about the hardest thing I've ever done. It's one thing to know in your heart that it's time, but it's another thing entirely to actively arrange your dog's death.

The "countdown" was the worst part of it. "We have less than 24 hours left." "This is the last time Nikki and I will watch TV together." "This is the last time I'll let her out." "Only an hour left." And so on. The countdown was agonizing.

The actual euthanasia was quick and painless for Nikki, just like the doctor said it would be. Just a few seconds and she was gone. As far as I know, she wasn't ever in any real pain throughout these last few weeks, and I'm grateful for that.

As I mentioned, a gal in Moorhead is cremating Nikki's remains. I'm going to have a small wooden box made for her (maybe by someone here in town?), and will bury her here at home in the spring. I'm going to plant a tree as her marker... it seems right that something beautiful and living should mark the place where Nikki's put to rest. And if the neighborhood dogs gather around in the summer and "mark" Nikki's marker, well, there's something appropriate about that, too.

Now, all of the above is rain. But I mentioned it was pouring.

Yesterday I got the phone call that a parishioner had died. Twice.

That is, I got the phone call twice. No one died twice, as far as I'm aware.

So I've got funerals this week on Thursday and Friday. I haven't done a baptism in nine months here, but after this week I won't be able to count my funerals on one hand anymore. =(

Also, I've got three council meetings (two church councils and one parish council), and two different Sunday sermons to write this week (because we're having a Christmas program at one church, which means they don't want me preaching the regular, full sermon I'll need over at the other church).

After that, it's Christmas week.

The way some of these things have gone, I can catch little hints of divine providence. Like the way the pulleys for my gym finally arrived - after two months of calling and begging! - on Friday, so that Dad and I could put it together and have something to do with our hands when we were feeling lousy about Nikki. It's good to know God's working behind the scenes, but my reserves are getting kind of low.

One thing that has been encouraging is meeting Cindy's puppies. Cindy is my "right hand" in confirmation, and her cocker spaniel Jada just had pups last month. Cindy's looking for homes for them. Now, I'd never really thought about cockers before, but those puppies came pretty close to winning me over when I first met them. The little one - the runt - is the one that Cindy's been guarding. She wants to make sure she goes to a good owner. I'm flattered that Cindy was trying so hard to convince me that this little pup was the right one for me. =) They were all adorable, and I met both of their parents, who are sweet, well-loved family dogs. If the pups turn out to be as good-natured as their parents, they could be wonderful companions.

Taking home the little one when she's ready to leave her mom would be nice. It's weird to think about that kind of a thing so shortly after losing Nikki, but the house just isn't right without a dog around. Having a puppy who listens when you're upset about something and keeps you company, and then does something silly, seems like a very good way to deal with losing someone. In a way, I think Nikki would approve of another dog calling my house home - it's certainly something that she enjoyed these last three years.

So, that's the news from here. I've been sad, but I'm doing better now that the awful anticipation of the end has passed. Most of all, I'm insanely busy, which is probably not such a bad thing right now.

Tomorrow will be the day

That's the sad news after visiting with the vet. Tomorrow will be the day I say goodbye to Nikki.

She's lost almost a pound since we were in to the vet last week, which is about 5% of her body weight. That would be like me dropping thirteen pounds before Christmas. Also, her red blood cells have dropped once again, so that she's got about half what she ought to have. The increased anemia helps explain her lack of balance and energy.

Dr. Kjelland guessed that under the best of circumstances we'd have a few days to a short week before she'd be so far gone that this would be necessary. But he also pointed out that cancer in its last stages can be a very awful thing. Since it's certain that I'll lose her this week no matter what we do, the merciful thing seems to be to let her go while she's not in pain, rather than waiting until she's possibly in a lot of pain.

As I mentioned to Jeff, though, I'm realizing today just how fine the line is between euthanasia and execution. Really, they're identical in their outcome and methods... the only difference is in their intentions and emotions. Maybe that's a huge difference, and when I'm less emotionally attached, that's exactly how I'd argue. But it's going to be hard to feel good about this until there's more distance.

Dad's coming up tonight. He wanted to be with us... I think he also couldn't stand to let Nikki go without being there. She's been "his" dog when I've been away, and they're pretty attached to each other.

Tomorrow morning I'll make the appointment with the vet. It'll be done before noon. I've decided that the best thing to do next will be to take Nikki to a vet in Fargo who does cremations. I can't stand the idea of her being put in a landfill (which is what happens to pets whose owners choose to leave them to the clinic to dispose), but the pet cemetery in Jamestown is probably going to be beyond my reach. Since the ground here is frozen, I won't be able to bury her until spring, and that means cremation will make the most sense.

I've talked to a city council member and the president of our congregation, and both assured me it would be fine for me to bury my dog in the city limits, in the parsonage yard. What I'm planning on doing is planting a tree by her grave, and letting that be her marker. She doesn't need a stone to creep out the little kids who will live in this house 50 years from now... but a living, growing tree that other dogs will come and gather around (and mark) seems to be a fitting tribute.

I don't know how Sunday is going to go. I need to write a sermon still, and it's going to be hard to do. I don't expect that I'll preach the longest or best sermon of my life on Sunday, but perhaps it will turn out better than I expect.

In the movie "The Two Towers," Viggo Mortensen, playing Aragorn, kicks a helmet across the screen and falls to his knees in agony over lost companions. During the actual filming of that scene, Mortensen broke several toes on his final kick - the take that ended up in the film. He channeled the obvious pain into his vocation as an actor, and it was the best take of the bunch.

On Sunday, the best I'm hoping for is to do a Viggo Mortensen.

I should go, though. I need to take care of a few things before Dad gets here, and I want to make sure I have as much time as possible with Nikki. This is our last night together.

Update

Nikki and I have an appointment with the vet in an hour and a half. I don't know for sure, but I think we're near the end now. She's only gotten wobblier throughout the morning. I'll post more once we're back home again from the doctor's office.

In Milwaukee, a Bookkeeping Brouhaha

"I see our model similar to what Minnesota's is."
- Milwaukee Brewers General Manager Doug Melvin, regarding the need to develop the team's conerstones - including the farm system - instead of signing costly free agents

Well, well. Less than a decade after the people of Wisconsin largely made a gift of a new stadium to Bud Selig's team, with promises that the team would raise its payroll and perform better, now we find out that the Brewers are actually $100 million in the hole, have lowered their payroll drastically, and have tied for the longest streak of losing seasons in major league history.

And Uncle Bud wanted to contract the Twins.

As much as I've loved watching the Twins these last few years, I have to conclude that the ownership of Major League Baseball, by and large, is hopelessly corrupt. They take advantage of their anti-trust exemption to extort stadiums out of the taxpayers through threats of sale or contraction and promises of wonderful things to come. But, right to the very top, they're mostly just sleazy, cynical businessmen who want to own expensive toys like teams as a status symbol, but would rather someone else pay for the playthings.

Gee, contracting the Twins was a great idea! It would have been a gift to Carl Pohlad, the Twins' owner, who wants a new stadium on the public's dime, or else he wants out. And it would have been a gift to Selig's team, the Brewers, when some of those newly-bereft Minnesota baseball fans drove a few hours over to Milwaukee to get their fix.''

The Twins are wonderful. I feel for the Brewers. But Bud Selig and Carl Pohlad, along with all the other corrupt owners, can go jump in a frozen Minnesota lake as far as I'm concerned.

And then we'll send some publicly-financed EMTs to save their sorry butts one more time.

Bad morning for Nikki

Nikki's day is off to a rough start. She threw up two big piles of dog food at 4:30 this morning. Since then, she's been very wobbly. Not completely defeated like she was when all this set in a month ago, though. Then she wouldn't hardly move; this morning, she was still willing and able to go out on her own. When she's walking she seems to get her balance... it's when she's sitting that she sways and leans as though she's drunk.

But, as I said, she's still looking attentive to the things around her. She followed me all the way downstairs to go out, and that was her own idea.

I think she's probably weak from losing the food and liquid. But she's not interested in eating or drinking. I practically had to force her pill down her throat. (Same story yesterday, too... with these pills being such a danger for her to miss, it's a high-stress thing when the dog spits them out six times in a row, even when they're hidden in cheese.)

So I'm taking a wait-and-see approach to things. If she gets worse, I'll be calling the vet; probably if she doesn't improve at all by later in the day, I'll call, too.

Church directory looking good!

I just saw the proofs for our new church photo directory. Lori, our former church secretary and a professional graphic designer, has done a wonderful job with the layout and design work for the directory. It's easily one of the best-looking church directories I've ever seen... I can't wait until it's published so people can be as excited and impressed as I am. Great work Lori, and all the rest of the directory committee as well!

Hold It Right There, and Drop That Camera

An interesting article in the Times about the new camera cell phones, and the ways in which cities are trying to deal with the privacy implications of them. Hold It Right There, and Drop That Camera

Seems to me that the best solution is one that's already being implemented overseas - require that the phones emit a loud, distinctive tone whenever a photograph is taken, whether the phone is in silent mode or not. Perhaps some sort of industry standard could be developed that would be immediately recognizable... but even a loud, generic "BEEP!" would probably draw enough attention to the photographer to make the activity too risky.

That's a much more workable answer than trying to ban cell phone use in restrooms, locker rooms and shower rooms.

(Although, for the life of me, I've never understood people who take calls in the men's room. Yuck! What are they thinking? Or, even worse than taking calls, some actually place them! "Hi, honey! I'm on the can right now in Sears, and I just thought I'd call to see what's for supper." *shaking head* I don't get it. It's just plain creepy.)

Up and running!

If you've been following the blog lately, you know that 99% of my subject lines this week seem to have refered either to the new computer or the dog. In this case, although I'd love for the dog to be up and running, I'm glad that she's just up and walking better than before.

No, what I mean by "up and running" is that I've got the laptop more or less ready to go, in a usable state for work and play. All of the programs I need are installed, and most of them are configured just the way I like them. The only thing that needs doing now is copying files over from the old computer(s).

That's something I've been meaning to do for some time now, actually. I've got LOTS of files, and they're in different folders on different computers, with no current backup. I'm going to take advantage of this new computer (and the fact that I have a network that lets my computers easily move files among themselves) to consolidate all those files on the new laptop. Then I'll wipe the old laptop back to its factory setup, so I can sell it, and move a copy of the whole archive of files over to my desktop.

I'd like to work out some good way of keeping files in sync between my laptop and desktop. I had tried using Windows' briefcase feature, but that was clunky, to say the least. I think that there are some features in WinXP Pro that can help me out (offline folders come to mind), but I'll need to consolidate those files first, and worry about syncing them second.

The timer on the over is beeping... sounds like the hotdish is ready. Now all I need is for Mike to show up, and it's supper time!

Looting the Future

This kind of stuff is why I love the Times. ;)

Paul Krugman: "Looting the Future"

Improvement

Nikki has had a good day. In fact, she's had just about the best day since when I posted that she played a bit a few weeks back. That after only two of her new pills. It's probably naive, but I'm hoping that maybe she'll be able to feel like her old self, and won't go drastically down hill from here. At the very least, it looks like in the immediate future Nikki and I will be able to enjoy each other's company a lot more. And that's very good news. =)

A good amount of snow here today. The roads heading over to Lucinda's this afternoon were pretty ugly - we don't always get our roads good and clear out here in the country, at least not right away. I'm learning to get used to it, but once I've paid off my Intrepid Jeff and I think it would be a good idea to look at getting something with all-wheel drive. But that's a while off, and it's a pretty major purchase!

On the other major purchase front, I've finally got my new laptop. (For those of you who don't know, I've been lugging my desktop back and forth across the street between my home and the church, because my previous laptop didn't have enough umph to run the slideshows we're using for confirmation. Although I've been happy with the old laptop, it became quickly apparent that I needed one that had at least as much horsepower as my desktop computer... and preferably more.)

The fools at Best Buy approved me for enough credit to get a no-compromises model, one that I've had my eye one for a while and that was on a good sale ($300 on mail-in rebates). For those of you who are curious, it's a variation on the Compaq X1000 series of laptops. I'm delighter with it, with the value, and with the 24 months same-as-cash financing that made it possible. It will be wonderful to use it for confirmation next week, and my Bible software is so amazing with a powerful computer that I'm really excited to be doing some serious study and sermon prep on it.

Once I get all my files transferred and everything set up to my satisfaction, I'll be wiping the old laptop and putting it up for sale. I'll probably be asking about $400 for it, in case you know anyone who's interested. That's about what they seem to be fetching on eBay.

It's late, and Mike's coming tomorrow afternoon for our annual Christmas Concert fling. Time for me to call it a night.

Sad news

Nikki and I went to visit the vet today, and the news wasn't so good. The bump on her head that appeared on Thursday is definitely cancerous.

Right now we're more or less in hospice mode. There's nothing that we can do to cure Nikki, so we're just doing what we can to help her feel better, so that she and I can enjoy what time we have left together. To that end, she'll be taking some steriod pills that should reverse some of the ill effects we've been seeing. With any luck, after a day or two on them, she'll have some spring in her step and will be enjoying things more.

Dr. Kjelland couldn't give me any definite timelines, but it sounds like we're talking weeks or months rather than years.

I'm taking the news as well as can be expected, I think. I've suspected that this would be the case for several days, now, and have been preparing myself for this news. Right now, I'm more relieved that there's something we can do for her at all. I had worried that not only would we get a bad diagnosis, but that there wouldn't be anywhere to go but downhill. Nikki may eventually go downhill, but it sounds like it won't have to be right away, at least.

My parents are taking this pretty hard, though. It's probably different being far away, too, and not knowing if they'll get to see her again. I'm still hoping to be able to come home with Nikki for Christmas... I really want to have at least one Christmas in our new home, and then to go visit Mom and Dad with her.

As a pastor, I'm quite sure God doesn't mind prayers for dogs, so please go right ahead and pray. On behalf of Nikki - who'd thank you if she could - please accept our thanks.

Strib: Sjodin case spurs Pawlenty to push for death penalty

From the Minneapolis Star Tribune: Sjodin case spurs Pawlenty to push for death penalty

I don't have the energy to give this the outraged rant it deserves tonight. So it will have to suffice to say that I hold Gov. Pawlenty's position in utter contempt. To use the tragic case of Dru Sjodin and her family to push a political agenda is sick. (Pawlenty has pushed for the death penalty in Minnesota before... he is spinning this as a result of his outrage over Dru's disappearance, but it's not even remotely a revelation to him.)

I have been proud of Minnesota and its stand against the death penalty. Gov. Pawlenty's announcement is a deeper embarassment to me than anything Gov. Turnbuckle ever managed to do.

Licking my wounds

After a (more often than not) good weekend with my family back in Hutchinson, this week's been off to a rough start, and I'm licking my wounds a bit today.

The parish council met last night. Without getting into details (I'm not intending to air out dirty laundry here!), I can say that I had a few little victories in the things I brought to the council, and took what seemed like a pretty major beating on one other. It caught me off guard, and I'm still trying to figure out what happened, and how things got so tense so quickly, and especially what I can do to mend things now and avoid such moments in the future.

As the title of my blog points out, I am still a "young pastor." My bumps and bruises leftover from last night are a reminder of that fact. There is much room left to learn and grow.

As I mentioned, though, at least one proposal (which I expected to be the contentious one, actually) sailed through unanimously, with only the slightest amending. And to their credit, my council members stuck with the meeting even when it was getting hairy... they're good people. Maybe I did a better job of communicating the ideas of the one proposal than the other. Something to think about.

I'm also licking my wounds a bit with how things are with Nikki. She's had her ups and downs. Yesterday she was having an "up" day. Today seems to be more of a "down" day. But even her most "up" days are not like she was last month at this time. An up day now is one where she's not trembling so much, where she's eating stuff, and where she's generally attentive to what's going on around her. A down day is one where she often looks "out of it" and unhappy, like she doesn't know what to do next to be happier or more comfortable.

It may blow over, but it may not. Something happened three weeks ago, and Nikki's been in the dumps ever since. I'm starting to consider the real possiblity that Nikki and I may only get this one Christmas together in Litchville. And that, to put it succinctly, stinks.

My family commented on how she's aged. Not necessarily since they last saw her, but compared to how she was when I first brought her home. But the change since they last saw her is real, too. On Halloween, you probably wouldn't have believed Nikki was eleven years old if you saw her bouncing, running and playing. Most people assumed she was a puppy. On Thanksgiving, you probably wouldn't have doubted me if I told you Nikki was an old dog. She looked and acted the part. That she has changed that much in such a short time is too discouraging to say.

So I guess you could say I'm really licking Nikki's wounds, although that image leaves something to be desired.

There will be more up days, I'm sure. But the honest truth is that I'm a glum fellow today. At least when I don't have my "game face" on.