An innundation of (Christian) spam

I'm frustrated.

Somehow my e-mail address got on a spam list that seems to get sold specifically to "Christian" businesses. I've been getting a number of spams each week for the last month or so, all promoting this or that "Christian" business or ministry, from t-shirts to youth ministry CD-ROMs.

Now, I object to spam on general principle. It wastes my time and clogs the Internet (fully HALF of all e-mail sent in the world is spam... and you're foolish if you think it isn't figured into your Internet costs). But there's a special place in hell, I believe, for so-called "Christian" spammers. At least there should be.

Strong words, young pastor! Yes, but I stand by them.

I don't know a single person who appreciates spam. Obviously a tiny percentage must actually respond in order to keep the spammers in business, but even among those who occasionally buy a spammed product, I would venture to guess that they don't like or appreciate spam on the whole. The outcry in this country against spam is at least as loud as the outcry against telemarketers... people everywhere consider it such a despicable practice that they would gladly have it outlawed.

So why on earth would anyone want to mix up the good news of Jesus Christ with such a universally loathed practice?

Could God use some piece of spam to bring them the good news? I wouldn't say it's impossible. Then again, if God wanted to use Ellie's dog turds, left all over Litchville, to bring the gospel to this town, I wouldn't say that was impossible, either. God can obviously do whatever he pleases, whether it pleases me or not. That's one of the perks of being a deity.

Still, I doubt that God's calling anyone to a dog-turd ministry anytime soon.

In all seriousness, it's upsetting to see Christians turning to the crassest of marketing trends, slapping on a pious veneer, and calling the resulting freak "evangelism."

I suspect it's because we are a society driven by capitalism that we tend to envision evangelism as a certain specialized application of the market forces. How often do you hear well-intentioned people talking about "church shopping?" How often have congregations tried to reach a certain "target audience" to bring them to church? How often have you heard Christians, like those in the schlocky "Left Behind" series, using business language to describe God's gracious gift of salvation: we need to "complete the transaction" with Jesus before it's too late? How often have you been at congregational meetings where people show up to vote who have not darkened the doorstep of the church in the preceding eleven months... but think of themselves as "shareholders" of the church, anyway.

There are so many examples, it makes one's stomach turn.

The capitalist impulse in Americans is so strong, we struggle to see the world through any other lens. In a country where you are more likely to think of yourself as a "consumer" than as a "citizen," it makes perfect sense to assume that God is some big CEO in the sky, the great insider trader, and that the more God's people model themselves after a corporation, the greater their efficiency in the divine economy becomes.

But the kingdom of heaven is not a corporation, and God is not a businessman.

Salvation is a gift, not a transaction.

Evangelism is sharing the good news because it is good news, and has absolutely nothing to do with marketing or salesmanship.

And spam, no matter how nauseatingly "holy" it tries to be, is still spam. If that spam trips up even one person in their journey toward Christ, it should be condemned. And based on the numbers, I would guess it trips up far above 99% of the unlucky souls who receive it.

God is gracious, even to spammers. Meaning there probably is no special corner of hell for them, after all.

But there would be if this small-town parson had anything to say about it.