At least he might win somewhere...

As observed in today's St. Paul Pioneer Press:

As of Thursday, John Kerry led George W. Bush in the race for a commissioner's seat on the Hennepin County Soil and Water District.

The office apparently had no candidate on the ballot, so some 32,000 voters wrote in their favorite (or least favorite?) candidate for the unwanted position. Also gaining votes were Jesse Ventura, Johan Santana, Randy Moss, and Latrell Sprewell, among many others.

The paper went on to note:

Under state law, whoever winds up elected to represent District 3 - it could come as a complete surprise to the winner - can refuse to serve or might not be qualified for the job. In that case, the other commissioners can name a replacement, [Hennepin County elections specialist David] Maeda said.

And what if the winner is Kerry or Bush?

'They don't meet the qualifications,' Maeda said. 'For one thing, they don't live in the district.'